What’s Next For LeBron?

Here’s what we know so far about the Lebrottery:

– He’s not happy with not having a championship.
– He’s not happy with Mike Brown. (This has been remedied.)
– There are a handful of teams that have put their hats in the ring, and there may be more to come.

So WWLD? Will he go to NY? What about Chicago? I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t think he will even play basketball anymore. You heard me. Why would he? He’s already left his mark as one of the best players to ever play the game, and he hasn’t even blown out 30 candles on his cake yet. Frankly, it seems like he’s bored with taking everyone in the league to school day-in and day-out. So what will he do? Simple: he will enter the world of MMA. You heard me again.

According to NBA.com, LeBron comes in at 250 lbs., so he could put on some more muscle mass and be at the upper limit for HWs. He’s an athletic phenom, so how long would it really take someone like Greg Jackson or Mark Dellagrotte to mold him into a great fighter? I say give him a year of hard training, and he will be ready.

Unfortunately, since he’s such a star, he would have to fight someone with at least a name. On the other hand though, he should get a cakey fighter to improve his chances of winning his first fight. I’m going out on a limb here and say the Fertitas will snatch dat ass up quicker than you can say “WTF LeBron’s fighting now?”. For his first victim, I vote for Paul Buentello, with Heath Herring coming second.

LeBron will easily dispatch of those two, then Cheick Kongo 3 months later, and Big Nog 4 months after that. This is when it gets fun, kids. Think of the possible match-ups:

– LeBron/Cain
– LeBron/Carwin
– LeBron/Mir
– LeBron/Lesnar

Once LeBron has gained the HW title and defended 3-4 times (probably to the likes of JDS and Couture among others), he will decide that he’s done all he can, and that there will only be 1 more mountain to climb. You can guess what I’m getting at.

June 29th, 2013
Madison Square Garden (it will be legal in NY by then)

Nooooooo, that’s not right… lemme try this again:

June 29th, 2013
Madison Square Garden (it will be legal in NY by then)

There we go, that’s more like it!

Now this is where the story ends, as I could not POSSIBLY do this monumental event justice with mere letters and words. Fedor would be 36 and not on the downswing of his career yet. He will have dispatched of Werdum, Overeem, Antonio Silva, and Mariusz Pudzianowski for good measure. Meanwhile, LeBron would have made the HW div. in the UFC his bitch by this point, and would have even beaten a very-game Anderson Silva at 265 (although Silva could only hit 245, it wouldn’t have mattered).

Cut to 2053, and I’m sitting in a rocking chair with my grandson AJ Jr.

AJ Jr.: “Grandpa, can you tell me again the story of the most awesome thing that ever happened in the entire world?”
Me: “I would be glad to… once upon a time, two people were born, almost 10 yrs. and about 5000 miles apart. No one but them knew at the time, but those two would be responsible for changing the very face of the world as we knew it.”

But seriously, my money’s on the Knicks.

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