(mic lowers from the ceiling to an outstretched hand)
Announcer: The following contest is your main event of the evening, scheduled for 5 rounds, and the winner will become the first WEC Openweight Champion…
First, in the blue corner, fighting out of Las Vegas, NV, standing 6 foot 1 inch, weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight and one half pounds, he is the most decorated fighter in the history of the UFC… he is The Natural, Randy Couture!!!!
(crowd emits deafening roar)
Announcer: And his opponent, in the red corner, fighting out of Nashville, TN, standing six feet, five inches tall, weighing in at two hundred and fifty seven and three quarter pounds, making his debut inside the cage… he is “The Enforcer” Zack Jones!!!
(one clap is heard in the distance)
Zack: Oh, fuck me
Randal (turns to Dante): Twenty seconds, you owe me five bucks.
Dante: I Don’t have five bucks.
Randal: Take it from the register.
(Two EMS techs wheel Zack past Dante and Randal)
Zack (slurred): Issssss iiittttt ssaaaafffe?
Randal: It’s very safe… douchebag!