NFL Week 7 – Preview and Picks

We here at Interrobang Sports are committed to broadening our cultural horizons and further diversifying and enriching ourselves. We feel that this will distinguish us from the pack of other sports-reporting organizations. With that being said, the theme for this week’s NFL preview and picks will revolve around the current Billboard Hot 100 Chart.

Interrobang Sports: Culture. Personified. Bitches.

First off, we’re gonna be Without You this week: Buffalo, Cincinnati, New England, NY Giants, Philadelphia and San Francisco. Enjoy, and try not to Wet The Bed guys. It’s unsightly.

San Diego at NY Jets, from MetLife Stadium: 1:00 PM, CBS
If you’re a Chargers fan, you gotta have a Good Feeling right now, but don’t go too far with it: SD’s 4 wins have come against Minnesota, KC, Miami and Denver, who have a collective record of 4-17. The one game they played against solid competition, against New England in Foxboro, was a 14-point beatdown in which Tom Brady had numbers that were so obscene that they can’t be reprinted here. (423 yds., 3 TD, 0 INT. But you did NOT hear that from me.)

The J-E-T-S will be the second “good” team that the Chargers have faced, and with all the extracurriculars going on this week, you have to think that both teams will bring it hard. Unfortunately for SD, when the Jets bring it hard, Sparks Fly most of the time, and this game will prove whether they are made up of stout logs or brittle tinder. New York’s offense is suspect, and SD has had one of the best passing D’s in the country so far… but again, 4-17.

Chicago at Tampa Bay, from Wembley Stadium, London: 1:00 PM, FOX
The Bears and Buccaneers both had to Sail across several time zones for this game, and no doubt they will be jet-lagged, but this is a rare case where that lag is shared between both teams. TB is in sole possession of first place in the NFC Souf with a 4-2 record and a win over the same-record Saints. However, the lynch pin of the Bucs offense this year, LeGarrette Blount, is out with a knee injury, and you can’t expect Earnest Graham to have the same effect, nor can you really expect Josh Freeman to step-up more than he has been.

But you gotta Remind Me when Jay Cutler decided to be a decent quarterback… went 21-31 for 267, 2 TD and 0 INT – yes, 0 INT – in last week’s trouncing of the Vikings. If he keeps that up, the Bears might finish… oh, 3rd in the NFC North, that’s right, the whole Detroit-and-Green-Bay thing. But at least it’s not 4th!

Washington at Carolina, from Bank of America Stadium: 1:00 PM, FOX
I’m gonna try and preview an entire Carolina game without mentioning You-Know-Who. Here goes.

The Panthers will be without starting offensive lineman Jeff Otah, which degrades the one thing they really had going for them: the pass game. Jonathan Stewart is still best back (although admittedly not their most talented), which isn’t saying much. The D is serviceable at best, and atrocious at worst (giving up 30 PPG on average in their 5 losses is not advisable).

But Washington is starting the great John Beck at QB for the beleaguered Rex Grossman – That Way maybe the ‘Skins can have more passing TDs than INTs for a change, maybe?

Atlanta at Detroit, from Ford Field: 1:00 PM, FOX
Who cares? The important news is that Jerome Harrison got a new lease on life this week, and stories like that really put into perspective how important this game is – or rather, is not – in the grand scheme. But since we gotta talk sports, I’ll touch on the fact that Maurice Morris will Take Over Control of the Lions running game for the time being, with Jahvid Best on the shelf with a concussion. May be the difference in what should be an exciting affair.

Seattle at Cleveland, from Cleveland Browns Stadium: 1:00 PM, FOX
It’ll Work Out, Seahawks faithful. Charlie Whitehurst is an excellent leader, Marshawn Lynch is in the prime of his career, and Doug Baldwin is a top-10 receiver just waiting to break out. Keep telling yourselves that – in the meantime, enjoy what will be a pretty good game against evenly-matched teams. As Casey pointed out, the Browns secondary is STELLAR, and if someone will explain how that happened, I would be more than thrilled.

Denver at Miami, from Sun Life Stadium: 1:00 PM, CBS
It’s The Tim Tebow Show, live from where Kyle Orton would have been spending most of his days in an alternate dimension. As it stands, these are two of the worst teams in the NFL, both in record alone and in stats compared to the rest of the league, so prepare for an exercise in futility. Denver trading away one of their top offense weapons won’t help matters much.

Houston at Tennessee, from LP Field: 1:00 PM, CBS
If I’m lucky, It Will Rain in Nashville, because my grass could REALLY use it. As could Chris Johnson, as it gives him another reason as to why he’s not looking anything like Chris Johnson this season. It’s on Hasselbeck’s shoulders to keep this train a’rollin’, and he’s shown that he’s up to the challenge.

Kansas City at Oakland, from Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum: 4:05 PM, CBS
You And I both know that with Jamaal Charles, this is a TOTALLY different Chiefs team, and a totally different game altogether. Without Charles, though, the Raiders should have no problem carving through the suspect D of the Chiefs, and should get in some D of their own.

Pittsburgh at Arizona, from U of Phoenix Stadium: 4:05 PM, CBS
Rashard Mendenhall’s recovery from injury could not have come about Faster unless he was dipped in adamantium With that all-so-important cog in-place, the Steelers should roll over Arizona, even considering the time zone difference between Pittsburgh and Glendale.

Green Bay at Minnesota, from Mall of America Field: 4:15 PM, FOX
Aaron Rodgers keeps opposing defenses In The Dark so well with his eyes, that they usually have no idea where he’s actually throwing. It seems to be working too: over 2,000 yards through 6 games, along with 17 TDs and only 3 INTs. Who cares that their secondary is like swiss cheese? Who’s gonna exploit it, Christian Ponder and Michael Jenkins? Or maybe Visanthe Shiancoe? (and yes I spelled that without looking it up, thank you very much)

St. Louis at Dallas, from Cowboys Stadium: 4:15 PM, FOX
Brandon Lloyd made Headlines with his trade from Denver to the Rams, and quarterback A.J. Feeley is hoping to make the best of that. Danario Alexander and Brandon Gibson have been having a solid year so f… wait a sec, A.J. Feeley is starting? If St. Louis had a snowball’s chance before Sam Bradford had to drop with a high ankle sprain, then they now have about an ice cube’s chance. And I don’t mean Ice Cube, because he would give you a chance to win no matter what.

Indianapolis at New Orleans, from Superdome: 8:20 PM, NBC
The Countdown to the Andrew Luckottery continues to tick down, and Indy is in the lead right now. With an ailing (and possibly never returning?) Peyton and no depth behind him, it’s time for the Colts to really start finding an heir apparent. Luck-ily for them, Andrew just doesn’t have bad games, and should plug-in to the NFL style much better than most QBs.

Also, New Orleans is great and scores a lot of points, but you knew that already. A loss to TB last week will help to get them fired-up. Against Indy’s high-school secondary, it’s not far-fetched for Drew Brees to throw for 400 yds. and 4 TDs. Fantasy owners all salivate in unison.

Baltimore at Jacksonville, from EverBank Field: 8:30 PM, ESPN
The Ravens may be the second-best team in the NFL right now, right behind the Packers. Stellar defense, an offense is that is hitting on all cylinders, and a juicy match-up with Jacksonville’s horrid defense? Yes please. I may not like it, but I have no choice: I Got 2 Luv U, Ravens, I really do.

From the Jaguars’ side of the house: I like what Blaine Gabbert has been doing, but he’s not enough by himself to salvage this team. Expect him to just continue to improve as time goes on. But not this week. This week will be a BAAAAAD week for Yo Gabba Gabbert.

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